Enclave, an event specifically for female dominants and their submissives (of any gender) seems like it would be right up my alley but I admit a fair amount of concern in attending when it was announced. I often do not feel comfortable at F/m specific events, especially one in which I planned to attend alone. CFnm parties are not my thing (I’ve tried) and in-person F/m discussion groups seem oft filled with married couples who later went on to explore D/s. I just don’t feel like I have a lot in common with these folks because of where I am in my life. Additionally, as I found my place in leather-based M/s, there’s an extra dynamic and way of thinking about power exchange that is even rarer.
Enter T-Rex, as she’ll be known on this blog. I’ve broadly known of her since I entered the scene, as she presents often at events and groups I attend. However, it was not until this past May that I officially met her. I was drawn to her, though only more recently have come to understand why (to explained in a future post). As one does, I spent some time reading her profile, where I saw we matched up very broadly on some of the things I am looking for, notably that she is a leather woman, a dominant, and is spiritual. Her writing led me to believe she is self-aware – a key trait I look for in any potential partner. Alas, her profile also indicated she wasn’t looking for anything other than friendship and events.
A couple of weeks later, I saw that she also RSVPd to Enclave and I had an idea: I would reach out to her and suggest a service D/s dynamic for the weekend. It would give me the chance to get to know her better and I’d have an anchor point at an event in a different state where I’d know very few people. I sat on the idea for a few days when something very unexpected happened.
T-Rex updated her profile and added an ISO note looking for a variety of things from casual event-specific service (nearly identical to what I planned on offering) to a long-term slave. Reading her note several times (yes, fellow subs, actually read their profile and stuff like everyone tells you to), excitement rising, I sent her a message. The next evening, I received a lengthy response.
Her response detailed her service needs and wants in great detail. Frankly the detail was refreshing and set the tone right from the beginning. Indeed, as she’s told me since then, she is offering X and I can take it or leave it. Which isn’t to say there’s no negotiation or communication. Pages and pages of messaging and a lengthy dinner later, we we’re off to Enclave.
Both being fans of ritual and woo (she is very woo and I am still exploring), I meditated with a piece of amber, pouring into it my intent to serve and obey for the weekend and offered it to her at the beginning of the event.
With her as my focus, I enjoyed the event much more than I think I would have otherwise. The service I provided was a lot of small things: getting her coffee, opening doors, lighting her cigar, but by being focused on the service, I was able to let go and really enjoy myself.
Saturday we played: me tied face down to a massage table, her lighting me on fire and hitting me till I was trying to crawl away, giggling the whole time. The way she plays is quite unique and extremely playful. Although my brain disconnected and I cannot recall all details, at one point she used a ruler to cut the ‘cake’ (my back) for her dinosaurs to eat. Oh those dinosaurs. Two silicon hitty things from hell. One particular story I’d heard several times by then, caused me to fear her tyrannosaurus rex and brontosaurus, but at least I was face-down, naughty bits safely hidden, unlike the story’s victim. Notably, I was able to process pain as well as I can with my regular play partners – often it can take several scenes to reach that place for me.
The weekend came to an end, she returned my amber, and I left excited about what would come next. We had already been discussing future possibilities, seeing Enclave as a trial run of sorts and coming out of the weekend, we dived right back into discussing that future.
So as of this week I am ‘in service’ to T-Rex, slowly adding protocols and a flurry of discussion on our needs and wants. I am excited, giddy even, of where we are headed and being able to add to our dynamic slowly is helping me keep whatever remnants of sub frenzy I have left at bay.
Stay tuned, dear readers.